How Sex Therapy Can Support People with Vaginismus

Contributor: Evguenia Cheinis, Registered Psychotherapist and Sex Therapist | Unleash Synergy

Vaginismus involves an involuntary tightening of the pelvic floor muscles that can make penetration painful or impossible. It’s often rooted in the body’s protective response to fear, anxiety, trauma, or internalized beliefs about sex. Rather than forcing or fixing, the healing process begins by gently listening to the body and rebuilding trust from within.

An integrative approach that draws on mindfulness, trauma-informed care, and pleasure-based practices is designed to support clients in healing from vaginismus by fostering trust, safety, and joyful reconnection with their bodies.

Mindfulness plays a central role. It invites you to slow down, to become present with physical sensations and emotional responses, and to begin noticing what your body is communicating. Through this process, we begin to create a felt sense of safety and internal connection that is essential for healing.

This might include:

Breathing into areas of tension while staying present with sensation
Becoming curious about the feelings, memories, or beliefs the body might be holding
Listening to the parts of the body that feel guarded or afraid, and responding with care rather than judgment
Letting go of goals and exploring what feels pleasurable, soothing, or nourishing in the moment

This approach also includes identifying and challenging internalized messages—around shame, performance, or inadequacy—and gently replacing them with affirming beliefs:

My body is not broken. It is wise and protective.
Pleasure is my birthright.
I can move at my own pace. There is no timeline for healing.
Intimacy can be creative, playful, and deeply connecting—even without penetration.

A key part of this work is pleasure-based exploration, starting with solo practices that build body trust and sensual awareness. These are not performance-driven exercises, but invitations to explore what feels good, what brings comfort, and what helps re-establish a sense of connection and confidence. Partnered practices may follow later, always rooted in consent, mutual understanding, and emotional safety.

Education is also a powerful part of reclaiming sexual agency—particularly when it comes to the clitoris, an organ with over 10,000 nerve endings and no reproductive function—its sole purpose is pleasure. Yet, in many people’s sexual development, the clitoris is ignored or misunderstood. Mindful clitoral exploration can be a transformative part of the healing journey, helping to reawaken sensations of joy, curiosity, and empowerment. As body awareness grows, this can naturally extend into exploring other forms of touch and pleasure—including vaginal sensation—not as a goal, but as a deepening of connection and trust with one’s body. These experiences unfold gently and at your own pace, always led by comfort, choice, and curiosity.

Healing from vaginismus is not about overcoming your body—it’s about honoring it. It means creating space for all your experiences—pain, fear, longing, and desire—and moving at the pace your body is ready for. With the right support, care, and tools, it becomes possible to shift from disconnection to presence, from fear to curiosity, and from avoidance to embodied, authentic intimacy.

Another important aspect of healing and reclaiming your sex life is the physical components that need to be addressed when it comes to Vaginismus. A pelvic physiotherapist is an essential practitioner to have as part of your team when navigating Vaginismus. Cornerstone’s Pelvic Physiotherapy program has a team of highly skilled pelvic physiotherapists who are very experienced in the treatment of vaginismus and they have locations all over the GTA! Learn more about how they can help with vaginismus specifically by clicking the link above.

Evguenia Cheinis, BHSP, EFCT, MA
Registered Psychotherapist
Associate Member of the Association of Sex Therapy in Ontario
Emotionally Focused Couple’s Therapist

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